


The Aqours Group Chat

by Kirbifier



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Chatlogs, Crack, F/F, crack and chatlogs my two favorite kinds of fics oh boy, this actually took me some time to make bc i was so lazy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 14:19:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10992681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kirbifier/pseuds/Kirbifier
Summary: The daily shenanigans of the group chat in Aqours.It goes as terribly as you expect.





	1. Chapter 1

          **[ August 7th, 17:13]**

 

chikan: bweeeeh

 Yousoro7: whats up, chikachan?

chikan: i cant write lyrics

chikan: 2 lazy

chikan: i got it

chikan: mom

chikan: momomomomom 

Kanan: hi chika

chikan: help i cant write lyrics

Kanan: no

chikan: mom y u betray meeeeee

Yohane: lol get rekt skrub

chikan: stfu edgelord

Ganbaruby!: What's an edgelord?

Yousoro7: we'll tell you when you're older

Ganbaruby!: But I'm the same age as Yoshiko-chan.

chikan: SHUT UP WE'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU'RE OLDER

        **[ August 7th, 19:32]**

Yousoro7: ay riko

Sakurauchi Riko: what

Yousoro7: can i borrow one of your doujins

Yousoro7: im super bored rn and i just need something to do

Sakurauchi Riko: you've read them all

Yousoro7: i have

Sakurauchi Riko: yes.

Yousoro7: just let me read one again

Sakurauchi Riko: if you're coming all the way to my house just to borrow some doujin you might as well go help out chikachan

chikan: yes do it

chikan: pls help me

chikan: riko you help me 2

Sakurauchi Riko: no

chikan: but y tho ;-;

Sakurauchi Riko: i have to compose music

chikan: stop lying

chikan: im literally staring at you through my window stop reading yuri

Shiny!: oh my riko :3c

Sakurauchi Riko: pls stop stalking me

chikan: JUST OPEN YOUR DAMN WINDOW AND TALK TO ME WOMAN

Sakurauchi Riko: noooooooo

       **[ August 7th, 19:48]**

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Im confused whats going on zura?

Yohane: shush zuramaru cover your eyes your too pure to see this

ZuramaruIsAFatty: I would if my phone would stop beeping zura

Yousoro7: then just mute the chat

ZuramaruIsAFatty: How do i do that zura?????

Yohane: forget about that, just throw it under ur pillow

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Ok

Shiny!: so riko reads yuri? 0w0

Sakurauchi Riko: MARI PLEASE LEAVE

Kanan: good luck with that

Kanan: she ain't leavin'

Kurosawa Dia: It's best to ignore Mari.

Shiny!: but you dont ignore me when i ask if you wanna go at it if you know what i mean

chikan: pls dont fuck in main chat thats gross

Kanan: MARI

Shiny!: mmhmmhmmmhmmmmm

Shiny!: u kno u want it

Yousoro7: marichan dont make me fucking judo your ass again

Shiny!: pls do it again you i look forward to it

Yousoro7: the fuck

chikan: you is mine you cannot take her

Yousoro7: awwwh <3 u too chikachan

         **[ August 7th, 21:12]**

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Is anyone still here zura?

ZuramaruIsAFatty: I keep missing your coversations and im upset

Sakurauchi Riko: i forgot why hanamaru-chan has that username

ZuramaruIsAFatty: I lost a bet to yoshikochan

Yohane: YOHANE

Sakurauchi Riko: ...

Sakurauchi Riko: really yocchan?

Yohane: hey

Yohane: i wanted to win something for one in my life and i really wanted a prize mk

        **[ August 7th, 22:01]**

Shiny!: someone come over im lonely

Kanan: no

Kurosawa Dia: As much as I'm tempted, I have to stay home and take care of Ruby.

Shiny!: so you DO wanna come over?

**[ August 7th, 22:23]**

Yohane: LILY

Sakurauchi Riko: ?

Yohane: can u come over

Sakurachi Riko: whats up, hon?

Yohane: lonely -3-

Sakurauchi Riko: i'm goin

Yousoro7: why are you coming here at like 1030 pm tf

Sakurauchi Riko: its yoshiko my demon cannot be left alone

Shiny!: the bus isnt running tho its too late

Sakurauchi Riko: bike

Kanan: some midnight exercise? honey im proud of u

Sakurauchi Riko: thanks mom

Sakurauchi Riko: FUCK YOU CHIKA I HAVE TO SEE MY BABY DEMON

Kanan: ignoring the language, what happened?

Sakurauchi Riko: chikachan just opened her window and screamed that i need to stay

chikan: pls ;-;

Yousoro7: im still here chikachan u can talk to me <3

chikan: ok youchan ;w;

**[ August 7th, 23:36]**

Yohane: lily u here yet?

Sakurauchi Riko: i'm outside please open the front door

Yohane: sure thing bb

chikan: i've literally been staring at my desk for 4 hours trying to come up with lyrics

Ganbaruby!: What have you come up with?

chikan: literally

chikan: nothing

Kurosawa Dia: Ruby, go to sleep.

Shiny!: dia let her stay awake

Shiny!: she needs to participate more in our group chat

Kanan: true dat

Yousoro7: she's spoken like twice in the past week

chikan: maybe i should write a song about staying up

Kanan: don't think thats a good idea

chikan: maybe i should write a song about the death of my muse

chikan: heh

chikan: u's

Ganbaruby!: μ's

chikan: thanks

**[ August 8th, 00:32]**

chikan: hey everyone

chikan: im wondering

chikan: who's your favorite u's member

Sakurauchi Riko: i just woke up with yocchan on top of me

Sakurauchi Riko: my nose has never bled so hard in my life

chikan: i was asking for best girl not your sex life

Sakurauchi Riko: i cant even remember whos who

chikan sent a picture message

chikan: here

Sakurauchi Riko: maki

Yousoro7: its not because you play piano is it

Sakurauchi Riko: no

Ganbaruby!: My favorite is Hanayo! She's like me and her voice is so cute!

Shiny!: omg its a match made in heaven

Shiny!: two super shy girls

Shiny!: if we ever see μ's we need to lock you two in a room

Kurosawa Dia: Not if I can help it. She's not getting locked up anywhere.

Shiny!: lesbihonest you want to tap that russian

Kurosawa Dia: Nonsense.

Ganbaruby!: What is that supposed to mean?

chikan: MARI DONT U FUKIN DARE CORRUPT THE WOOBY

Shiny!: :v u two are boring

Yohane: srry lily for eating that strawberry off your belly

Yohane: it was too tempting

Sakurauchi Riko: YOCCHAN

chikan: you two are gross

Yohane: at least we dont flirt with each other all the fuckin time

Shiny!: stop lyin yesterday you wanted to rp with rikochi

Yohane: THATWASANACCIDENT

Kurosawa Dia: I am intrigued.

Kurosawa Dia: What exactly happened yesterday?

Yohane: DONT YOU FUCKIN DARE

_ Yohane has been removed from chat. _

Sakurauchi Riko: yocchan noooooooo

Yousoro7: tf isnt she sitting right next to you

chikan: on you*

Ganbaruby!: I want to know what happened yesterday!

Kanan: something tells me she doesnt

Shiny!: wait a mo i need to find it in the sea of chikachi and youchi's flirts

Kanan: gross

chikan: stfu mom

Yousoro7: stfu mom

Kanan: is that how you're supposed to talk to your mother

Kanan: you both know i can bench press you into next week

chikan: IM SORRY

Yousoro7: doNT YOU DARE HURT CHIKACHAN

Sakurauchi Riko: i'm so lost

Sakurauchi Riko: alvbeoqskvneqoslngbrkwa

Kanan: uh

Sakurauchi Riko: yocchan is slandering me h e l p

Kanan: i see

Shiny!: found it!

Shiny:  _[ August 6th, 14:23]_ Yohane: *rises from the ground, a dark magic circle at her feet*  
_[ August 6th, 12:23] _ Yohane: Come, my little demon, for we will punish the angels for what they did to me. We shall show them no mercy, and torture them for all eternity!  
_[ August 6th, 14:25]  _ Ganbaruby!: Yoshiko-chan what are you doing?  
_[ August 6th, 14:29]  _ Yohane:  _** shit**_

_ Yohane has been invited to the chat. _

Yohane: MARI WHAT THE F U CK

Shiny!: :3c dont know what ur talkin about

Shiny!: u were the one who said it

Yohane: A C C I D E N T

Kurosawa Dia: I still don't understand what's going on.

Shiny!: yoshikocchi roleplayed in chat

Shiny!: sounded like some really kinky shit

Yohane: ?!?!?!?!!!! how?!

Yohane: MARI I WILL FUCKING END YOU

Sakurauchi Riko: yocchan is currently yelling outside her window

Yousoro7: are you two seriously in her room

Yohane: ye

chikan: dont lose your virginity kids

Ganbaruby!: ?

chikan: oops

Kanan: what were we talking about again

chikan: i forgot

Kurosawa Dia: We were talking about μ's.

Shiny!: o ye

Shiny!: probably nozomi

Shiny!: the hyper gay

chikan: unsurprised

**[ August 7th, 02:14]**

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Cant sleep

Ganbaruby!: SOMEONE HELP ME

Ganbaruby!: ONEECHAN ISNT HOME I'M SCARED

Yousoro7: @Kurosawa Dia @Kurosawa Dia @Kurosawa Dia @Kurosawa Dia @Kurosawa Dia

chikan: where is the dia is the dia dead forever in our hearts

Yousoro7: chikachan how tired are you

chikan: yes

Kanan: dias at mari's place

Ganbaruby!: IM SCARED TO SLEEP ALONE

chikan: HANAMARUCHAN GO

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Ok dont worry ruby ill get there soon

Yohane: so i found out something about lily tonight

chikan: does she scream like a little girl when she orgasms

Yohane: wh

Yohane: what the fuck

Yohane: no

Yohane: she's super sloppy at kissing

Sakurauchi Riko: yocchan why

Sakurauchi Riko:  _ why _

chikan: why

Yousoro7: why

Kanan: why

Yohane: SHIT I THOUGH LILY WAS ASLEEP

Sakurauchi Riko: yocchan...

Yohane: IM SORRY

Sakurauchi Riko: dont make me bring up your chest size

Yousoro7: tbh you're not much bigger

Sakurauchi Riko: stfu

Ganbaruby!: Hanamaru-chan is here now, I'm a-ok.

Ganbaruby!: She's super-cuddly!

chikan: wtf is dia doin at mari's grand hotel anyway

Kanan: dunno

Yousoro7: huh

Yousoro7: i expected you of all people to know

Kanan: /shrugs

Yohane: didnt dia mention she was tempted to go to maris house

Yousoro7: oh shit are you thinking what im thinking

chikan: *smirkity smirk smirk*

Yohane: they did the sex

chikan: SHHH

Yohane: ??!

chikan: DONT

chikan: CORRUPT

chikan: THE WOOBY

Yohane: S H I T

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Dont worry shes sleeping

ZuramaruIsAFatty sent a picture.

chikan: awwww

Yousoro: awww

Shiny!: you ppl are dirty :V

Shiny!: me n dia were just watching movies

Shiny! sent a picture.

Kanan: YOU PEOPLE ARE WATCHING GHIBLI MOVIES WITHOUT ME 

Kurosawa Dia: Sorry, Kanan-san. We didn't want to disturb you.

Kanan: NO FUCK YOU DIA, WE'RE HAVING THIS TALK WHEN I MEET YOU AT MARI'S HOUSE

chikan: wait so how is she going to get there

Kanan: i have a jetski

chikan: wh-

Kanan: bye kids

Kanan: stay in drugs dont do school

chikan: mom what the hell

Yousoro7: welp im gonna pass out chika are you going to pass out too

chikan: i give up on these fuckin lyrics man

chikan: good night


	2. Chapter 2

**[August 13th, 09:47]**

Yohane: good morning my little demons

chikan: its too fucken early for this

Kurosawa Dia: Chika-san, it's currently 9:50. If this were a school day, you would be awake in class right now.

Yousoro7: no she wouldnt

Yousoro7: dumbass sleeps first period every time

chikan: its true

chikan: i need mikan to live and i havent eaten any yet

Kurosawa Dia: I should revoke your role as leader.

Kanan: too late dia

Kanan: shes the glorious team leader whether we like it or not

chikan: *shit eating grin*

**[August 13th, 10:03]**

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Morning zura!

Ganbaruby!: Oneechan, where are you?

Ganbaruby!: I just woke up, where did you go?

Kurosawa Ruby: Look at your nightstand.

Ganbaruby!: Oh, okay.

Ganbaruby!: Have fun!

Yohane: guys do you wanna see something funny

Yousoro7: i do it all the time

Yousoro7: its called watching chika dance

chikan: D:<

Yousoro7: sorry but its hard not to laugh when you try to dance with me instead of rikochan

Yohane: no seriously look at this

Yohane shared a photo

Saukaruchi Riko: YOCCHAN WHY

Ganbaruby!: What is she doing?

Yousoro7: shes dabbing

Yousoro7: rikochan you have things to explain

Sakurauchi Riko: it was JUST A SNEEZE

Kanan: that's a pretty weird way to sneeze, riko

Sakurauchi Riko: tbh yocchan convinced me to dab

Yohane: lol sorry she really needed her sandwich

chikan: doesnt that make you rikochan's bitch

chikan: SHIT I SHOULDNT HAVE SAID THAT

Yousoro7: what happened?!

chikan: rikochan just ran out of her room

chikan: i see rikochan outside

chikan: i think she's coming in to kill me

Yousoro7: i mean i would help you but i live in numazu

Yohane: tbh im perfectly okay with being her bitch

Kanan: mm kinky

Yohane: stfu

chikan: someone help she's banging on the door to my room

Sakurauchi Riko: I hope you know your door is a sliding door.

chikan: rikochan can you please spare mdrbsovikehrskvmmlactvoolxtnfhjvltzblghnznkpdvshchuv

Kanan: rip chika

Sakurauchi Riko sent a photo

Sakurauchi Riko: she's got a nice bra

Kanan: why the fuck did you take off her shirt

Yousoro7: WAIT YOU ACTUALLY HURT CHIKACHAN

Yousoro7: OH YOURE IN FOR IT NOW RIKO

**[August 13th, 10:25]**

Yohane: you just dropped by my house

Yohane: she told me to hold her phone in case something happens to it

Ganbaruby!: Why are they fighting?

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Dont worry about it

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Its about love

Ganbaruby!: I thought love was supposed to be happy, not angry.

Yohane: lily and you get angry when ppl piss on their lovers

Yohane: honestly its pretty funny

ZuramaruIsAFatty: I just noticed wheres mari

Kanan: i never told you kids that the third years are all hanging at my place

Yohane: were two years younger than you tf

Shiny!: still kids to us

Ganbaruby!: Oneechan and Kanan and Mari are all diving for today!

Ganbaruby!: Oneechan sent me a picture of a dolphin and wrote Kanan next to it.

Yohane: tf is her phone waterproof or something

Ganbaruby!: Yes, it is.

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Its the future zura! I thought phones broke in water

Yohane: zuramaru i swear to shit

**[August 13th, 11:43]**

chikan sent a photo

Kanan: what the fuck is going on here

Yohane: WHY ARE YOU THREE JUST IN YOUR UNDERWEAR WTF

chikan: some really kinky shit happened

chikan: me n you felt like making out and we did it in front of rikochan

Sakurauchi Riko: one thing led to another and the three of us started stripping

Yohane: LILY HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME WHAT THE FUCK

Yohane: I THOUGHT WE WERE ONE

Yohane: my very own little demon servant

Yohane: gone from my grasp

Yohane: now forever a night i will be left alone in this hell called the friendzone

Sakurauchi Riko: you actually needs her phone back

chikan: thats rikochan saying she wants you in on our orgy

Sakurauchi Riko: dont make me send you to the fucking shadow realm again

Yohane: ON MY FUCKIN WAY

**[August 13th, 12:11]**

Yohane sent a photo

Yohane: how do i get to the inn from here

Sakurauchi Riko: just walk straight and you'll see it

Shiny!: what did we miss?

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Some really bad things zura

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Scroll up

Shiny!: OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

Kanan: MY BABIES ARE GETTING OLD

Kurosawa Dia: Honestly, what are you people doing?!

Kurosawa Dia: Are you just going to post all of this shameless nonsense in front of Ruby?!

Shiny!: one way or another she needs to find out dia

Kanan: one day we will have a chat without ruby in it

Yohane: that day ain't today kanan

Yohane: CHIKA

Yohane: OPEN UP

Sakurauchi Riko: yo dis is you

Sakurauchi Riko: you better prepare youself for a stupidly cute dork in a pink bra

Sakurauchi Riko: cause she just ran down wearing just that and her panties

Yohane: how long is it until the sweet release of death

**[August 13th, 13:56]**

chikan: so are we having a psrty at my house or some shit

chikan: four people are here already

Sakurauchi Riko: party*

Kanan: why are you people texting

Kanan: aren't you right next to each other

Yohane: you cant hear us speak though

Yousoro7: you people should come here honestly

Kurosawa Dia: @Ganbaruby! @ZuramaruIsAFatty

Kurosawa Dia: We're going to Chika-san's inn. Meet us there.

**[August 13th, 17:02]**

chikan: RIKOCHAN COME BACK

Yohane: LILYYYYYYY

Sakurauchi Riko: THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOCCHAN

Sakurauchi Riko: please dont fall from the window

Sakurauchi Riko: yocchan i know i'm angry at you but please dont try to jump out the window like i did last time we were here

Yohane: can u at least come back? i miss you

Sakurauchi Riko: ITS BEEN TWO MINUTES

Yohane: FUCK IT IM GOING OVER THERE

Yohane: plus i want to find where all of your kinky shit is

Sakurauchi Riko: YOURE NOT TELLING ANYONE WHERE ITIS

**[August 13th, 19:58]**

chikan: where did everyone go

chikan: i just woke up from a nine year coma and the only person here is shiitake

Yohane: look out ur window

chikan: why does rikochan have such lewd stuff

Yohane: actually notice the person inside her room

chikan: oh hi yoshiko

Yohane: ITS IN MY USERNAME MY NAME ISNT YOSHIKO

Sakurauchi Riko: Show her the doujins and we're breaking up.

Yohane: yes lily

chikan: note to self: dont piss off rikochan

Sakurauchi Riko: you've done it three times in the last 24 hours

chikan: i said i was sorry

**[August 13th, 21:33]**

Kanan: hey maru

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Yes

Kanan: you feel like hanging out w/ me and dia tomorrow?

ZuramaruIsAFatty: Okay

Kurosawa Dia: Be sure to bring some water or snacks, we're coming up with some new PV ideas and might start filming.

**[August 13th, 22:01]**

Shiny!: my bed still smells like kanan

**[August 14th, 00:22]**

Yohane sent a photo.

Yohane: dont tell lily i sent this

Yohane: she looks like a literal angel when she sleeps

**[August 14th, 08:20]**

chikan: @Sakurauchi Riko

chikan: @Sakurauchi Riko

chikan: @Sakurauchi Riko

chikan: @Sakurauchi Riko

chikan: @Sakurauchi Riko

chikan: @Sakurauchi Riko

Sakurauchi Riko: the hell do you want

chikan: scroll up

Yohane: WHAT THE FUCK CHIKA

Kanan: oh boi

Kanan: more gay people fighting

Shiny!: kanan y r u surprised

Shiny!: we fite all the damn time if you catch my drift

Kanan: do you want me to destroy your ass after lunch

Shiny!: kanan i didnt know you were into those kinks

Kanan: MARI

chikan: i dont regret a single moment in this group chat

Yousoro7: chika where are you

chikan: ?

Yousoro7: do you not know what time it is

chikan: ..?

chikan: im late for school arent i

Yousoro7: you'd better get here quick fam, class starts in ten minutes

chikan: _F U C K_

Kanan: rip chika

Yousoro7: rip chika

Yohane: im already in class

Shiny!: shamefur dispray

**[August 14th, 09:04]**

chikan: i got destroyed by dia after class

Shiny!: ye i should too

Shiny!: my chairwoman powers should do something about this

chikan: MARI NO

Shiny!: I COMMAND @YOUSORO7 TO GROPE CHIKACHI DURING LUNCH

Shiny!: @SakurauchiRiko @Ganbaruby! @ZuramaruIsAFatty @Yohane @Kanan @KurosawaDia

chikan: wait

chika: WHY DID YOU PING RUBYCHAN

Shiny!: ;)

Shiny!: the girl needs to know somehow

Yousoro7: cool im down with that

Shiny!: i'll pay you too

Yousoro7: hot damm our chairwoman is kek af

chikan: pls dont nozomi the shit out of me

**[August 14th, 12:43 PM]**

Yohane: @Ganbaruby!

Yohane: basically chika said please be gentle and then moaning noises happened

Kurosawa Dia: I beg your pardon?

Yohane: im running home lily i'll catch you later

**[August 14th, 12:45 PM]**

Yohane: got caught by dia

Yohane: now i got clubroom cleaning duty

Yohane: sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lily help

Sakurauchi Riko: good luck have fun i aint doin shit

Yohane: LILY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> august 13th is my birthday btw
> 
> Chika, You, and Mari will always be the meme dream team for me and I don't know why.


End file.
